


The one with the humanized Smaug (Spoiler; he looks like Benedict Cumberbatch)

by Acciopencil



Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acciopencil/pseuds/Acciopencil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Bilbo met Smaug and then traded himself for a fucking stone</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The one where Bilbo met Smaug and then traded himself for a fucking stone

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: English is not my first language and the story is unbetaed.
> 
> I do not own any of the characters-- or anything really (and also I do not make money out of this like what even)
> 
> All rights are preserved by J. R. R. Tolkien
> 
> Quick note! I want you to know that this is heavily inspired by BBC Sherlock and Johnlock as well, and even though I really want to tag that I have voted against it so there we go.

The last thing Bilbo expected to see lying on the pile of gold coins, jewels and diamonds was a man like creature.  
It seemed as if he was lounging under a layer of scattered coins. Very still and quiet; Bilbo wasn't even sure if he was alive.

  
"Excuse me" Bilbo said in a hushed tone, still concerned about the dragon although it had yet to show its face.

  
"Excuse me. Are you aware that you're lying in the middle of a dragons nest?" The man did not stir.

  
Thinking hard for a moment, Bilbo stepped closer. The coins rattled as they dived down the pile and Bilbo stilled.

  
"Wake up! You cannot seriously be sleeping in a place like this?" And then the man stirred.

  
He opened his eyes, blinking slowly toward the ceiling. Then he turned his head, disturbing the coins underneath him, and looked directly at Bilbo.  
His eyes were as pale as the water in the lake of Laketown and his skin, which had seemed almost gold like at first proved bit by bit as the man emerged from his gold blanket to be as pale as the snow itself. He was now sitting, observing Bilbo under a mop of black hair.

  
"Are you -quite alright there"

  
"What are you doing here? Are you here to steal my gold?" The man spoke with a booming sound which seemed to reach the far away walls of the room, only to bounce right back to the hobbit. Bilbo started to fidget where he stood, suddenly feeling queasy.

  
"Your -eh- your gold?"

  
"My gold" the man said showing of a row of sharp teeth. Bilbo drew in a breath and nodded.

  
That must mean "you're" he cleared his voice "you're Smaug of course"

  
Smaug got up and started prancing toward the frightened hobbit. His muscles tight as if ready to pounce. "Obviously" he said as he reached the end of the pile now standing ever so closely to the hobbit.

  
"But you-" he started to circle Bilbo slowly, his pale eyes never leaving him.

  
"I do not recognize your smell" he sniffed into Bilbos space, making Bilbo curl into himself.

  
"Tell me, thief, what are you? Who are you? And what is your business with the dwarves?"

  
Smaug had stopped, now standing looming over Bilbo. Awaiting.

  
"Dwarves?" Bilbo said, saying the words as if it was the first time. "No. No, dwarves here" he said sounding awfully more confident that he felt.

  
"Do not think me for a fool, thief. I have tasted many dwarves in my time and you" Smaug stepped closer -and inhaled "have their scent all over you".

  
Bilbos thoughts were immediately brought to the king dwarf.

  
"Tell me, did they make you steal from me?" Bilbo felt himself nodding.

  
"Yes" he said sounding as if had just been out running. "Yes, they made me. O'Smaug how cruel the dwarves are to me" Bilbo chanced a glance at the dragon.

  
"Pity" he said and stepped back. "But you still intend to steal from me" Bilbo swallowed.

  
"I am but a simple hobbit-"

  
"Hobbit" Smaug interrupted with a baffled look on his face. "I've never tasted Hobbit before. I wonder what your kin taste like" and with that he leaned down and licked a stripe across the hobbits face. A fearful shiver ran through Bilbo as he leaned away from Smaug. When Bilbo opened his eyes again, he was met by the dragons considering glance.  
"What do I call you" he then said.

  
"B--Baggins" Bilbo said. "Bilbo Baggins"

  
"Bilbo" Smaug said testing out the name on his tongue. "Bilbo Baggins the hobbit" Bilbo nodded.

 

"And what is it the cruel dwarves want you to steal from me?"

  
"The A-Arkenstone" At that Smaug furrowed his brows.

  
"The Arkenstone" he repeated. "I wonder" and with that the dragon disappeared in the sea of gold.

  
Bilbo stood for a moment more, considering his situation. He could make his escape now when he had the chance, but -he could feel his heart sink in his chest- he could not return to Thorin without the Arkenstone. Just as suddenly as Smaug had disappeared, just as suddenly had he returned and in his hand he held a white shimmering smooth stone, which only could be the infamous Arkenstone.  
Bilbos breath hitched when he saw it and Smaug smiled.

  
"This" he said, as he raised the stone to his face. The stone reflected in his pale eyes making the shimmer like stars "this is what the dwarves want" Bilbo gulped.

  
"I don't suppose-"

  
"If you could have it?" Smaug cocked his head to the side "what would I get in return, Bilbo the Hobbit?"

  
A silence stretched in between them.

  
"You want... Me?" Smaug’s face was emotionless as he prowled toward the hobbit.

  
"Is that a problem?" Of course it was a problem, Bilbo thought. Whatever the dragon could want him for would surely not be pleasant. Bilbo thought long and hard, right until the dragon snorted annoyed.

  
"Well what is it going to be, Bilbo?" Bilbo cleared his throat yet again.

  
"Eh -can I ask what you intend to use me for, O'Smaug the terrible?" Smaug caressed the stone as he spoke. "Companionship and insurance. I have tons of uses for a little creature like yourself"

  
"Insurance?" Smaug smiled smugly.

  
"I do not believe your little tale about the cruel dwarves, Bilbo Baggins the hobbit. For you would not be here considering this offer if you did not care about them. Besides it’s not only the dwarves I can smell, but also-" he stepped closer. "You were involved with one of them".

  
Bilbo stood very still, though his heart was beating like mad.

  
He swallowed and dared a glance at Smaug. Even though there were no physical evidence of so, Bilbo was positive that the dragon could hear every thought running through his head.

  
Bilbo clenched his jaw and looked defiantly up at Smaug.

  
“Fine”.

  
Without a word, Smaug handed over the Arkenstone and Bilbo took it.

  
He pocketed it and was well on his way out of the sea of gold, when an echoing voice made him stop still.

  
“You will return, Bilbo the hobbit”.

  
Bilbo glanced over his shoulder but did not see the dragon anywhere.


	2. The one where Bilbo has to explain to the dwarves what he just did (Spoiler; There will be angst)

 

Right outside the once so grand mountain, stood many dwarves waiting anxiously.

Nearby stood two of the dwarves, which had drawn close together in deep worry.

“He should be out by now”, said the younger of the two, as his eyes darted to the entrance of where the hobbit had disappeared through a while ago.

“There now, Thorin” The white bearded dwarf placed a concerned hand on his king’s shoulder.

“He might be the faster of this party, but even he has to step carefully in the presence of Smaug”.

Thorin’ eyes shot back at the other.

“I am aware of the situation” He pulled away from the other dwarf. “I just hope he is still breathing”.

Balin smiled at that. A small, sad smile but still it was a smile.

“I understand the hobbit has become to mean a great deal to you, my friend”

Thorin narrowed his eyes. “Enough with this talk of feelings, Balin. Gather the men and prepare them for fetching the hobbit”.

“-But Thorin-“

“Just do as I say!” Thorin snapped, and then as an afterthought, “please”.

Balin looked at him for a moment longer, before sighing and nodding.

“Very well, my king”.

Thorin despised this. Despised how some Halfling could make him feel like this, but of course, Bilbo weren’t just some ordinary Halfling. He was Thorin’s burglar.

He sighed as he watched Balin interact with the rest of the party. There were different reactions for the prospect of walking into a dragons den, but Thorin knew his folk and they had not once let him down.

Dwalin, who had taken to his weapon, were now encouraging the others, and Thorin could pick up some phrases as, “for our king”, “our kin” and “Thorin”.

Yes, his people were going to follow him no matter what, even in death, of that Thorin was sure.

A moment later Dwalin walked over to stand by his side.

"The hobbit is fine" he said as he observed the dwarves preparing themselves from afar.

"Yeah? How would you know?" Thorin said, glancing at his friend. Dwalin shrugged.

"I wouldn't" he said and turned to Thorin, "but I believe in him. We've all put our trust in one little hobbit, and so did you. Do not lose hope just yet"

And with that he disappeared back to the dwarves. Thorin stood a moment more, before he too wandered over towards them.

Kili was leaning up against a wall, still a little bothered by his leg. Thorin let himself fall beside him.

"Are you doing alright?" Thorin asked his nephew, whom in response shrugged and grinned.

"You know me, uncle. I can take my beating" he turned to look at Thorin and his smile faltered a bit.

"I am more concerned about you actually"

"Me?"

"Yeah, I've never seen you like this before. You really must love master Boggins, huh?"

Thorin snorted. Upfront as always.

"Love" he said and scoffed, "and what do you know about love?"

"I know a great deal about it actually," Kili said and his eyes became distant.

Thorin did not enquirer further about this love, as he would rather be scrubbing dirty bar floors than having this conversation. He grumbled an excuse to his nephew before walking off toward the entrance of the castle.

 

\---

 

From inside the mountain, Bilbo was taking his time walking through the halls.

He had pulled up the stone a couple of times, turning it in his hands as he thought about how he could tell Thorin and the others that he was supposed to go back into the mountain.

He then always stilled his hands and pocketed the stone again, because he also had to explain to them that the dragon would not be moved.

The stone felt heavier than ever when Bilbo finally reached the door.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

 

Sunshine hit his face, as well as a strong body.

“Bilbo!” Several voices cheered, but Bilbo could not focus on them, because wrapped around him was a couple of strong arms.

“My little burglar,” said Thorin in a hushed voice, before stepping back from him with a smile evident on his face. Bilbo struggled to smile back, though the dwarves did not seem to mind.

“Did you see the dragon?”

“Was he still asleep?”  
“Do you have it?” Thorin looked expectantly at him and Bilbo hesitated. “Well?”

“Right, I do, but I-“

“Ha! What did I tell you? Bilbo got the stone and we can get our home back!”

The dwarves cheered on, and Thorin looked back at him proudly.

“Give me the stone and we shall celebrate”

“I-no, I mean-“

An awkward silence settled over them, as the dwarves had stopped to listen. Thorin blinked.

“No?”

“The dragon. He is awake. I did get the stone, though,” he said and pulled up the Arkenstone from his pocket and handed it to Thorin, who took it automatically.

“I don’t understand,” he said. “How did you manage to get it, if he were awake?”

Bilbo laughed out breathlessly, “I kind off.. Ehm… Promised to go back to him”

“You promised **what**?” Thorin’s eyes were positively bulging, and Bilbo had a hard time looking directly into them as of this moment.

“I know, it wasn’t all that thought through, but-“ Bilbo said to his feet, and was yet again interrupted.

“’Wasn’t all that thought through’? Bilbo do you have any idea-“

“I do actually,” Bilbo said and raised his head, to stare Thorin square into the eyes. “I did for you,” gestured towards the rest of the dwarves who was watching them silently, “I did it for them”.

“I cannot promise you your home back right now, Thorin. But now that you got the stone, you can gather the army and then,” Bilbo raised his hand and hesitatingly brushed his sleeve, “you can come back for me”.

Thorin looked at him silently for several moments with a mix of doubt and determination, before Balin finally cleared his throat.

“Good job, Bilbo,” he said as he pushed his way through the dwarves. “You did the right thing”.

Thorin looked as if he was about to protest but Bofur beat him to it.

“Thank you,” he said, “it was very brave what you did”.

Bilbo nodded and smiled, before looking back at Thorin, “leave now. I’ll be fine. Promise”.

“I can’t just let you go back in there,” Thorin said, speaking in a hushed tone, as he leaned down towards the hobbit.

“You have to,” Bilbo answered, and with that he smiled reassuringly at Thorin and then at the dwarves, before turning around and walking away towards the same door he had just walked through.

“Bilbo” Thorin said, making Bilbo turn around. Thorin strode toward him, “I-“ He started but then seemed to change his mind, “Good luck”

They stood in silent for a while before Bilbo leaned up and gave Thorin a quick peck on the cheek before spinning around on his heel and disappearing into the mountain.


End file.
